The Costa del Sol is still the dream destination for many Northern Europeans to start a new life in the sun. The climate, the beaches, the cheaper cost of living. It looks so easy and tempting for so many. The reality is very different. It’s a long and often complicated journey and if you arrive here with the wrong attitude and unrealistic expectations, this can go very wrong. But if you invest into your integration, it can be the most wonderful and life changing experience. Unless you want to live a limited and often socially and culturally isolated life, there are some unwritten rules people should follow:

Learn the language. Learn the language. Learn the language. Yes, it’s that important. It’s difficult (I still have nightmares about subjuntivo…), it will take a lot longer than you think, but it’s so very important and rewarding. You hear a lot of people say, that they “get by” in Spanish. This often means, that they can order food and drinks in a bar. But could they talk to a doctor, a civil servant in a public office or even their neighbour? “Well, the people should speak English (or any other European language)”, the response often is. As much as the level of English spoken in Spain is not as high as it could be, it was you who decided to move to this country, so don’t expect people to conduct business in your language. It’s very simple.

Language will open so many doors. The warmth of the people, their openness and inclusivity can only be experienced, when you can communicate with them. We are not expected to be perfect (and in my case won’t be for many years to come), but making the effort is so very much appreciated and you will be able to express yourself.

Get yourself a teacher and stick with it, even when you dread the prospect of homework and sitting in a classroom at your age. It’s worth it. Progress might be slow, but your Spanish will get better and better. The more you engage with the locals, the more you will also understand the local accent, which can be quite a challenge. It’s all a return on your investment.

I also urge people to participate in life in the Spanish community. I am not expecting them to carry a throne during Semana Santa, participate in a singing group during Carnaval or being able to quote Chiquito de la Calzada’s best jokes. Learning about local traditions, trying food they would not have even considered eating in the past, learn about the history of the city and region and the many people, who came to this part of Spain from abroad and other parts of the country to find fame, fortune and happiness. Learn to embrace (and tolerate) habits and rituals and most of all, remember that you are not in the country you were born in anymore.

If you take these things to heart and invest into your own development, you have a great chance of a very fulfilling life in this wonderful part of the world.